Maybe I can horizontally run 13.1 miles from the comfort of my own bed tomorrow instead of waking up early and leaving the house.
Here are some guidelines that will get you to the finish line in tip top racing condition:
1. Do not stick to your training plan. In fact, don’t run a lot of training miles or long runs. Take a lot of days off. Hell, take a week or so off between the time of your last half until this one (a month and a half-ish).
2. Remember, junk food is adequate training fuel. Oh yeah, you’re not running much anyway.
3. Run a lot, take a week off, and then do a ten mile training run a week before your half marathon.
4. Hydration? Pffft. I hydrate with coffee. Ignore your 3L of water per day rule & have only half that amount (some days more if you’re feeling ambitious).
5. Stay up late. You don’t need to be rested.
6. Make sure your Garmin is dead. You don’t need to obsessively check your pace & watch the miles slowly tick by.
7. In fact, pack the Garmin away in a box and bring it to your parent’s house when you move some things over. Then forget about it until a week before your run – commence freaking out.
8. Be sure to sleep in a lot once you don’t have a job to go to anymore. Doing so will make it a million times easier to wake up at 5AM on race day.
9. Eat a bunch of chocolate covered almonds followed by pasta for your pre-race dinner.
10. Instead of getting your race outfit together, sit in your pajamas and write a blog post about everything you haven’t done well to prepare for the race tomorrow.
Alright, here I go! Fingers and toes crossed it doesn’t rain and I make it out alive.