Blogmas Day 16: Reflections During a Dark Run


Last night I went for an evening run after work. I had woken up at 5am yesterday morning, but my bed sucked me back into it’s warm depths. I purposely wore a sports bra and running top to work solely for the fact that I would feel bad changing out of it and into pyjamas if I skipped my run. So, I made my way home and began to think about whether I “should” run or not.

I had every reason to skip yesterday’s run. I slept in. I got home later than usual from work. It’s too dark. It’s too cold. The dogs can’t stay too long without me (wrong – they have been hanging out while we are at work & Ryan comes home on his lunch break, then I am home from work shortly after). Etc. Etc. However, I began to think about the week in workouts I’ve had and my goal of two strength training sessions and three runs. If I skipped this run, I’d have to do a run on Sunday, and I like to have Sundays off. These are the things that swirl around in my head. I decided to JUST DO IT and get out there. Run for ten minutes, then see how you feel. Well luckily my watch doesn’t show total time and only your current pace and distance. And it was dark so I would’ve had to keep pressing the backlight button on my watch. My body warmed up quickly, and I took in my surroundings without any music playing in my ears. In fact, I kept my phone tucked in the pocket of my running tights in case I needed to reach Ryan, and I was off.

I covered 5 miles last night, and in those 47 minutes I reflected on all of the moments of 2017 that really stick out in my head. Turning 25. Celebrating 4 years with the man of my dreams. Embarking on a marathon training program. Crossing the finish line of said marathon. Leaving a job I had been at for 3 years and moving on to something completely different – and loving it! Whale watching. Exploring with Nala. Adopting a rescue puppy (which is technically new, but great nonetheless). There are so many moments in my life that I am so thankful for, and I am especially thankful for everyone who has been there on the journey with me.

During my run last night I thought about family. I thought about friendship. I thought about how a stranger can impact your day in a positive or a negative way. I thought about how people should “just be more kind to each other!” I always say to Ryan, “If everyone was a bit kinder to each other, the world would be a better place.” Perhaps I am overly ambitious or hopeful that we can see that in this lifetime, but I think it is so true. I thought about all the times I ran these streets of my neighbourhood during marathon training. I thought about when I want to start marathon training again. Oh, and which marathon should I run in 2018? Should I train for a marathon again? What if it doesn’t go well? No, it’ll go perfectly. I thought about how I need to practice the art of TRYING instead of “should”ing. I thought about how I don’t want to be the kind of person who SHOULDS everything. “Oh, I should do that, BUT…” Nope. That’s not my style. I’m more of a “she can and she did” kind of gal. I thought about the first time I ran a 32km training run and cried tears of happiness in my ice bath because I felt so, so freaking accomplished. I thought about the marathon again and how that was the cherry on top of a fantastic year. Oh, but wait! Christmas is coming and that’s my favourite time of year!

Yes, Christmas is 9 days away and it’s all very exciting. However, I hope we can all practice gratitude and positivity this holiday season instead of getting caught up in the GIFTS and expensiveness of it all. You know, as much as I love buying gifts for others, I think we should also celebrate the gifts we HAVE year round and spend time with people. Face to face, not at a computer or phone screen. Did you know that when you wake up, you already have a gift? You have a bed. You have a roof over your head. You have a body that can run, jump, climb, play with your kids. You have a heart that beats and aches and LOVES. As I was running home last night I could feel my heart beating in my chest and how, despite the fact that my ears were freezing and my face was red from the cold, I felt so blessed to have the gift of running. I know, I know. You can’t give EVERYONE the gift of running for Christmas. If I could, I would force it on every member of my family and every friend so then I would have ALL the running buddies. No, that’s not what I mean. During my run last night, I thought about how happy I am to have made the choice to start running. Some days I run far. Some days I don’t. Some days I run fast. Some days I run slow. Running allows me to be part of something MUCH bigger than myself. It allows me to continue to strive for those big goals I make for myself, and to simply enjoy it for the fun of it when there’s no big finish lines ahead of me.

Finally, during my run last night I also thought about how happy I am to have this little corner of the world to express my thoughts and share my experiences. While it may not be the most popular blog out there, it is mine and something I am proud of. It is near and dear to my heart! I want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my beating, loving heart for being part of my journey this year, and for following along with BLOGMAS! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and I will see you for day 17 tomorrow.

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